So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
