True but thats because hes a fetus.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
