I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
