But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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