she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
