just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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