After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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