he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize