she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
