You're my little dorito
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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