How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
