this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
