When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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