The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize