guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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