I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Acid is not a monday night drug
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
