we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
