then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
