i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
