i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Sorry about my life...
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
