Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
So squirting runs in the family.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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