some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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