just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize