I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Randomize
