His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
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