Im at strip club and am horny
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
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