my soul wont recognize me after tonight
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Randomize
