yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
