i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
