My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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