Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize