Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Randomize
