hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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