I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
