Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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