Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
