She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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