Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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