This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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