This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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