I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
