Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
