OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize