Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
