Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
