they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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