I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize