one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
