he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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