Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
