it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
