you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
