I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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