Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
