He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
