Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
