so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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