So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize