She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
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