I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
