How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
