dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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