Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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