Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
