Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
