Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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