3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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