No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
ugly people sure do ruin things
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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